December 28, 2011 one year later

December 28 marked the one year anniversary of Jackson going to Heaven. God sent us a gorgeous sunny day. The days leading up to it had been very dark and gloomy weather wise. We were glad to see the sun.

We began the day at a healing service at church. It is a wonderful service that we went to many times last year before and after Jackson was born. The whole family went last year the day after he died. It is an uplifting service that includes Eucharist. My mom joined us. Father Jones said some very special healing prayers over the three of us. All of the priests always know exactly how to pray for us. Of course, I cried during most of the service. After the service, we went to the columbarium to put some flowers on his marker and spend some time with him. We visited with the sexton, Omar, afterwards, which was fitting, as he was the one to put Jackson's ashes in the ground. Every time we see him at church, we give him a hug. He is such a kind soul.

Our sweet friend, Melissa, (who was also our night nanny when Austin came home) came and kept Austin while we went to the service. She and Austin had a fun morning playing together. She was kind enough to bring a balloon to release for Jackson. She holds a special place in our hearts, too, as she was one of Jackson's frequent visitors at Vandy in the PICU. I will never forget the night he died when she walked in the door to spend the night and was in tears over losing Jackson. It made us realize what a kind person she is and how many lives our sweet little angel truly touched. She spent most of the day with us on the anniversary.

We ended the day watching the video of "Baby's First Day" from TLC. It was fun to see the excitement and anxiety in our faces going through the first few days of life. They captured some wonderful footage of both boys. I especially loved seeing the footage of the one and only time I held the boys together. Wish I had gotten to do that more, but sweet Jackson had way too many cords and tubes attached to him. We were amazed at how much he changed from his early days in the NICU to his last few days in the PICU. We found a picture Allen had taken the day he died. I had not seen that picture in a year. Some how it had gotten mixed in with all the other pictures. I was so glad we have the last glimpse of him on his last day even though he was so swollen and puffy and his skin coloring did not look good. The prayer blanket that my brother's friend made him with all the prayers our family and friends submitted was near his head. I was so glad to see it near him. We also watched the video that Allen made of Jackson. He has such a gift with making those videos. Every time I watch it, I cry, but they are good tears. It was a good way to end the day.

Christmas 2011

We have had a great Christmas this year!  Austin was not really into it, as we thought he would.  Even Christmas morning, he was more into the dog toys then his presents. He did not wake up for the day until after 11:45 am!  He was well rested to say the least!  We had fun decorating!

We decided to go to Bass Pro Shop to get Austin's picture made with Santa Claus.  We had fun looking around the store and people watching.  He did great waiting in line.  In the last few weeks, he has really started to have separation anxiety from me.  When I placed him in Santa's lap, no noise came out of his mouth he was crying so hard.  It was comical.  Typical first picture with Santa.  Good memories.

2011 Heart Walk

I decided to organize a team in Jackson's honor for the Heart Walk.  We raised over $1,000!  My best friend, Brittany, drove in town for the weekend from Louisville, Ky with her husband, Paul, and their twins, Samuel and Matthew.  It was so special to have them there.  Our friend, Melissa, came and walked with us, too.  My sweet mom joined us, as well as my friends, Adam, Linsey, and Brooke, and their kids.  We had a great time and great weather.  Before the walk started, we had a chance to go chat with Jackson's heart surgeon.  What a special treat.

Austin's First Birthday

Austin turned one on November 19th.  We had a great day!  My mom and dad, along with Allen and I gave a candle table to church in memory or Jackson and in honor of Austin.  One of the priests suggested dedicating the table on their birthday.  We began the service in the columbarium with a short prayer. Allen and I placed a nice wreath on Jackson's marker.  Then we went into the chapel and continued with the service.  Family and friends came and each walked up and lit candles.  This is not the finished product...they are actually redoing it to look a little more fancy.  What a great way to start the day.

We had a big crowd at Austin's birthday party.  Allen's parents and brother came in town. His sister and niece had come the weekend before to celebrate!  We had all my family and our close friends there.  Everyone was so sweet to come spend time with our favorite boy.  Of course, the one day I needed him to take a good nap, he ends up sitting in his crib playing and only napping an hour.  That made for a very emotional boy during the party.  He usually takes 2 naps a day!  My friend, Wendy, from college, came all the way from Lexington, Ky with her husband and sweet baby girl, Caroline.  They drove all this way just for the party!

Halloween...a little late!

We had a great Halloween this year.  Allen and I had fun dressing up and going to my brother's annual Halloween party!  I even won the costume contest.....all because Allen did my face paint.  I didn't have a costume, and he and my niece, Olivia, went out that afternoon and got me a witch's costume.  I don't think my nephew, Will, recognized me!

Austin was a pumpkin!  He looked adorable and was a great sport about the hat!

Here are some pictures!